The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
