We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
