u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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