I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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