dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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