oh fat girl friday strikes again...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
