Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
