Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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