I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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