More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
