I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Still dying that you shit outside
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
