Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
