A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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