The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
