Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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