i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
