farters have to be the big spoon...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
its liver damage thursday
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
