I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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