apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize