what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
