I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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