scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm always down for nudity.
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