I wanna bring you to show and tell
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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