Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
