i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
