p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
