My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
