She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
