it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
