if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
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They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
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Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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