I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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