Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
