Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
