Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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