Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
