hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
