You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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