I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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