she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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