Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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