why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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