i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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