The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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