The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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