ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
