i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize