I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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