Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
