You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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