He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I want her autograph on my taint
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I came so hard my ears popped.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
