just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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