I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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