now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP