I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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