he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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