I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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