Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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