I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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