I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He passed out mid-signature
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
