remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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