Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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