I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
