Will you blow on my dice?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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