3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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