i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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